Divorce Is Difficult Enough
Divorce is difficult enough to contemplate but when you throw in spouses that are negative towards each other, can create problems for both parties involved.
If you are in this situation you may need to prepare yourself for a long and drawn out divorce process, one that may have big consequences both mentally and physically.
Each spouse should be aware of their own negative comments and actions doing their best not to contribute negatively throughout the already difficult divorce process.
If either spouse shows a negative attitude (malice, the seeking of vengeance, creating mayhem and any other opportunity to cause problems for the other) then it may be time to seek professional help (counseling or legal help) if the negatively persist.
The goal here is to come to a compromise, a common agreement that both spouses can live with however we all know it’s hard to please everyone. When one or the other spouse get their feelings hurt or feel like they didn’t get everything they wanted may contest the divorce causing new and extended problems, like all of the time and money spent just trying to get to this point and now having to basically start all over again.
On the other hand if a couple lucky enough while going through their divorce process only to find that all of the negatively was something they could use in a positive way to get their marriage back on track thus avoiding a divorce. (Not likely but possible)
There are emotional wounds that won’t heal after a marriage especially if there was a possibility of saving the marriage but just couldn’t work it out.
There are a percentage of divorcees who experience anger, bitterness, loneliness, depression.
There are also a percentage of divorcees, who experience just the opposite Joy, freedom.
One would think the percentage would be the same but I’m sure there are more unhappy spouses after divorce then happy spouses.
However with all the various support groups and therapist services available today, an individual that has gone through such an unpleasant experience such as divorce can easily find help to make this transition period from marriage to divorce a little more manageable and acceptable.
Even under the best of circumstances it could take a long time to put the issue surrounding a divorce to bed (sort of speaking) having lasting and long reaching effects both mentally and physically.
Divorce resulting from a change in one partner’s sexual orientation is also another rather traumatic experience that usually leaves the individual devastated and unable to comprehend the change. For most people going through a divorce, they do come to terms with the trauma experienced which is often one of the hardest things to contemplate. However if there is a need to do so, the individual should learn to grieve properly and thoroughly to ensure the healing process takes its course and helps the individual move on. Some ways to approach the grieving process is in a manner that will help a person through this very difficult time:
Having a good support system in place is one very good and effective way to start the grieving process with the adequate assistance available. This support system will allow an individual the necessary platforms should the experience become too much to bear alone.
Seeking professional help is another option for an individual, looking into as this type of assistance is usually given with the best possible advice based on the counselor’s knowledge and experience. This kind of help will often provide an individual with the best recourse to adapt in order to get his or her life back to some level of normality.
Leaning on the religious beliefs of the individual to help get through this difficult time is also another option to explore. However this is only advised if the said individual is very strongly grounded in his or her religious beliefs and has the faith that this choice will see them through this difficult and lonely time.
Indulging in a phase of grieving where an individual is encouraged to cry and voice their feelings in a controlled environment is also encouraged. This can be very useful in getting the person to exhaust all feelings connected to the divorce before learning how to move on.